Underpants and four Sarahs
by Kaori Himoru
Summary: When Jareth returns Sarah to the Labyrinth to let her run it for his amusement, Sarah is copied times four! STARRING: four personality splits of Sarah, a drunk Hoggle, Ludo who’s going to take over the world, and a King of Goblins.
1. Bad breakfast and a warm reuniting

This happens when I eat too much crisps and chocolate. I wrote this in a very weird mood, and while being really insane so don't expect to much useful stuff of the story. I haven't got a real big story in my head, but when I get many good reactions on this, I'll do my best to continue.

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Four Sarah's and Underpants.

**Chapter 1. 'bad breakfast and a warm reuniting'**

Once upon a time there was a very handsome Prince. He was very powerful, but after a completely messed up audition for the King-of-the-World competition, he had to become King of some useless Goblins, a job nobody wanted actually. He liked weird clothing (that's what probably messed up the contest) and ALWAYS had messy hair, which he thought looked hot. He sat on his second-hand Throne between the Goblins who were having some fun with a chicken (….no, not THAT kind of fun…). Suddenly he stood up and yelled:

"Blue Bumblebees!"

The Goblins grew quite, wondering what in hell's name he was talking about, but soon continued there game. The King sat down again, also wondering what in Goblin's name he was talking about. He shrugged. But something had set his brains to work. He thought of Sarah (what the connection was between Blue Bumblebees and Sarah, will forever remain a mystery.) . He hadn't seen her in a while. Maybe she should pay him a visit. He put his fingers together to conjure a crystal. Nothing happened. The King frowned. He tried again, but no crystal this time either.

"Go go crystal!" he suddenly yelled. Nothing.

"Do I have to get into tights and a superman suet to make my super-powers work?!" he yelled to the not-existing crystal, not realizing he wore tight blue trousers already, and that his cape was giving a super-hero impression anyway. Then suddenly, a lot of glitter went like 'phoof' between his fingers, and a crystal appeared…..a triangular one.

"What the…?" the King said. One of the goblins stepped to his sovereign.

"Haven't you heard Sire? Triangular crystals are totally hot now, round is soooo yesterday," he said girlish. To the King's amazement he saw that the nails of the Goblin were polished pink, bright Barbie pink.

"Erm…thanks, I think," he said. With a wave of his hand a trap door opened, and the girlish Goblin fell into the hole, right into the Bog of Eternal Stench. After the curses of the goblin had faded into nothing, the King concentrated on his triangular crystal once more.

"Let's see who's day I'm gonna make miserable," he smirked. He pierced into the changing scenes in the globe. Suddenly the images halted, and a picture of Sarah appeared. The King laughed. This was going to be a good one. He disappeared, and re- appeared right in front of Sarah, who was walking to school.

"Hello Sarah. I…"

"AAAAAaaargh!!" Sarah yelled, definitely not expecting to see Jareth. The King rubbed with his hands against his ears.

"Cut it out will ya? Man, you can scream," he complained. Sarah finally stopped, and now started to stare at Jareth.

"What in hells name are you doing here?" she said in a very rude tone.

"Nice to see you too Sarah," Jareth answered sarcastic. "I actually wanted…"

"If you're gonna kidnap Toby again, I swear I will kill you," Sarah interrupted.

"With what?" Jareth knew she was no threat. This comment made Sarah silent, for she lacked annoying comments to answer him.

"Now, as I wanted to say. I was looking in my crystal this morning, and I was just thinking we haven't seen each other for quite a while now. About a year isn't it?" Jareth said like he was talking about the weather, instead of some weird Goblin King who suddenly appears in front of a schoolgirl.

"Anyway," he continued. "I've come to take you again to run the Labyrinth for my amusement," he said smiling. Jareth paused a minute, wanting to let these words really get to Sarah's brains. To his surprise, Sarah said nothing. She didn't scream, she didn't yell. She just glared in the nothing, looking like she was thinking very hard.

"Erm, Sarah?" the King said. Sarah frowned.

"A kitchen knife!" she suddenly yelled. The startled Jareth jumped about a meter up.

"What?" he said with big eyes.

"I said 'a kitchen knife'," Sarah repeated. "You asked with what I could kill you, and I answer 'a kitchen knife," she said simply. It was still half past seven in the morning, and she wasn't really awake yet, so don't blame her for being very simple. Jareth nodded.

"And you haven't heard that I'm gonna kidnap you?" he asked.

"You are WHAT!?" Sarah yelled. Jareth shrugged. This wasn't going to work. Without wasting any more words to Sarah he made a crystal and grabbed Sarah's hand. After Sarah had said a quick 'byebye' to a passing squirrel (Jareth frowned, wondering what Sarah had been eating) they disappeared with a lot of shiny glitter.

Now, unfortunately for Jareth, Sarah's breakfast hadn't been very healthy. She had ate cornflakes and a coke and Rock Pops. And everybody knows that you can explode of that combination! Unfortunately for all Jareth lovers who want to get rid of Sarah so that they can have Jareth for themselves, this didn't happen (such a pity). Instead, the combination of cornflakes, coke, candy and the secret ingredient: chemical C (or one of Jareth's crystals to you and me), a chemical reaction took place in Sarah's stomach. One, that would change the entire Underground.

But that is better for us, or there wouldn't be a story now…

Jareth and Sarah re-appeared on the borders of the Labyrinth. Jareth smiled egocentric, as only he could do, and with a wave of his hand a clock appeared in the tree.

"You have only thirteen hours…" he said dramatically, but stopped when he saw that Sarah wasn't going to pay any attention to him. She sat next to him on her knees, looking very pale. Then all of a sudden, she began to throw up. The chemical reaction that would change the underground was beginning.

"Ew! Stop throwing up over my shoes!" Jareth yelled as he stepped back from Sarah. She didn't look up. A sudden light flash blinded Jareth for a moment. And when the light had gone and Jareth's eyes could see again, he wish he couldn't see, for there stood four Sarah's in front of him.

"Yo dude. Wazzap?" one said.

"I'm cold, and this place sucks. I want to go back to my mummy," the other whined.

The third said nothing but only glared into space with big eyes.

"Hey Jareth, you know that you look HOT today?" the fourth, and last, one said with blinking long eyelashes.

Jareth stepped frightened back.

"Erm…what is going on here?" he asked.


	2. Names, a bird, and the Prehistoric’

As I promised: I would wrote more when there were good reactions, so here is chapter 2!

jazz021: Yes, it was from 'go go Gadget'. I loved that whenI was younger. and you'll get more oblivious Sarah now. Little question though: what is LMAO in Goblin's name?

LipRing84: here yo go!

Moonjava: Thanx girl!

dreamlabyrinth: I'll sent it to Arrna, my living spell checker. The improved version will come soon. ;-)

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Chapter 2. 'Names, a bird, and the Prehistoric'

"Dude! I'm like, totally looking at myself right now. Dude!" the first Sarah said, while looking at the three other copies of Sarah. Sarah number 2 began to poke #3, wondering if she was real. The third Sarah didn't object, she didn't even notice really. She was talking like a squirrel.

"Eep epeeeep epe peepepe eep," she said, while pushing a handful of nuts in her mouth that she had found on the muddy ground. With her mouth full, she continued talking, and with that spitting a rain of nut-bits on #2.

"Ew, now you made my shirt dirty," she whined in a annoying voice. "I want my mummy!" she added not for the first time, but not for the last either.

Sarah number 4 in the mean while, was sitting on the rock next to Jareth, glaring at him. Jareth sighed deep, wondering what in Goblin's name he had to do with FOUR Sarah's.

"Aw, are you sad?" #4 said with a honey-sweet voice. Jareth pulled a nasty face. He hated honey.

"Should I comfort you?" the Sarah continued undisturbed. She blinked meaningful with her extremely long eyelashes. Jareth moved shocked from the rock.

"No!" he said quick. "I'm fine."

"No your not, just as me. I hate it here. It's cold, and I'm hungry. Isn't there a Mac Donald's here?" Sarah #2 whined.

"What is a Mac Donald's?" Jareth asked to number 1.

"Hé! You were talking to me!" #3 said.

"Aren't you the same one?" Jareth said confused.

"He, I was talking to my sweetypeteety Jareth!" #4 suddenly said.

"Dude, and what about me?"

Jareth looked wildly around, not knowing anymore which Sarah was which. Then he got an idea. He stood up, and created with and triangular crystal four name tags. He pinned one on the three Sarah's around him.

"There," he said victorious.

"You'll be called Dude," Jareth said to number 1, obviously not having the brain-capacity to come up with an more original name.

"Dude! I'm Dude," she said proud, laughing loudly.

"And you'll be….erm…" Jareth though hard, but could not find a name for #4

"I like Honey!" number 4 said, swooning at the thought of being called 'Honey' by her sweetypeteety Jareth. Jareth, on the other hand, was not so fond of that idea.

"I think that Jane Andrea Connelly Katharine would do just fine," he said with a smirk.

"Or in short: J.A.C.K." Dude added with a brought smile. Jane Andrea Connelly Katharine gave Dude a deadly glare. The two and Jareth now turned to #2, who sat on the ground talking depressively to herself.

"No one talks to me, I'm nobody to them," she whined.

"Great. That'll be your name. Nobody," Jareth said proud. Jane Andrea Connelly Katharine sighed deep.

"Oh. You're so good at finding names," she said blinking for the one-hundredth time with her eyelashes.

"There's like, one more left now," Dude said. Dude, Jareth, Nobody and Jane Andrea Connelly Katharine turned to #3. She sat high in the tree, pretending to be a bird. She twittered loudly and very, very bad-sounding. The song she 'sang' (if you can even call it like that. I would actually call it more like screaming, but anyway) was terrible off-tone and chased away every creature within 200 miles.

"Cheeeeeeeeeeeeepcheeepcheepcheep."

"Hé! Come down for a moment!" Jareth yelled up. Sarah 3 looked down. She spread her arms.

"Oh man, she'll like, fly down!" Dude said. The four saw in amazement how #3 began to flap with her 'wings' and she jumped down. With a loud WHAM she landed flat on the ground with her face dug in the sand and her arms and legs spread. The four others gave each other quick glances.

"….dude…" Dude said, not knowing what to said else.

"Aw, blood will never get out of the carpet," Nobody whined, apparently not noticing there was no carpet here.

"Erm…sweet Jareth? Why don't you show off your strength and pick her up will you?" Jane Andrea Connelly Katharine said with a shaky voice. Jareth gave the others another glance, and then slowly walked to #3. He crouched down next to her. He lifted her head.

"CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" #3 twittered as soon as her head was out of the sand. Everybody jumped startled back. #3 jumped up, and tried to fly back into her tree again. Needless to say, she failed.

"I think 'Bird falling down from the high Tree' is a cool Indian-name for her," Dude said. Jareth nodded, still shocked. And immediately the name-tag flew out of Jareth's hand and pinned itself to Bird Falling from the high Tree's shirt.

After being recovered from the shock, Dude, Jareth, Jane Andrea Connelly Katharine and Nobody sat down in the grass a little further from the tree where Bird falling from the high Tree was still trying to fly in. They had given up on calming her. The only thing they reached with that was that Bird falling from the high Tree had pecked all four. Jane Andrea Connelly Katharine was now constantly asking Jareth to give her a kiss on the tiny wound (which was so small you needed a telescope to see it) to heal it. Jareth ignored it, and moved to the place on the opposite side of Jane Andrea Connelly Katharine.

Jareth sighed deep again. This was crappy. Instead of one annoying Sarah, he now had four. Dude walked over to Jareth.

"Dude. You indeed look like, totally nervous," she said popular. Then all Sarah's (except Bird falling from the high Tree, who was singing now, as she had climbed in the tree) began to name things that could comfort him. This wasn't really helpful, as the list were only useful for the Sarah's themselves.

"You could like, chill on some sweet music dude. Or like, meditate, man."

"Help me, that's a good idea. I wanna go home."

"Maybe I could comfort you?" the Jane Andrea Connelly Katharine tried again.

"Mediate is like totally cool dude."

"I want my mummy!"

"You know, just the two of us?"

"SHUT UP!" Jareth yelled between the countless useless things the girls said. "That's it! I had it with you guys!" and with a phoof, he wished the girls away. Jareth smiled as he enjoyed the silence around him. He had to celebrate this, but how?

"I know! I'm gonna throw some more Goblins into the Bog of Eternal Stench. Let's see if there are more with pink nails," he laughed evil and disappeared with a lot of shiny glitter to the poor Goblins.

But again, things went wrong. In his fury, Jareth had accidentally (at least, I think it was accidentally, but you'll never know with Goblin Kings) wished the four Sarah's to the Prehistoric. Yes, the time with all the dinosaurs and stuff which is like TOTALLY not cool because it has no Mac Donald's in it. Anyway, the Sarah's landed between some great tree-like things, at least…three of them did.

"EEEEEEEEEeeeeeewwwwwww!" Jane Andrea Connelly Katharine screamed, as she looked down to her with dung covered legs.

"Ew! Get me out, get me out, get me out!" she yelled, completely freaking.

The remaining three looked dull at the panicking Sarah. To get her out of the HUGE pile of dung, they had to get in it themselves.

"You'll like, go and help her," Dude said.

"No way! I don't wanna! You go!" Nobody said.

"Bird falling from the high Tree! You go!" Dude yelled at Bird falling from the high Tree, who glared at a prehistoric bird. She didn't answer.

"Ha! Now you'll have to go!" Nobody said victorious.

"No! You'll like, go and help her," Dude objected.

"No you."

"You"

"You"

"You"

and this went on for a long, long, long, long ,long, looooooooooooooooong time.


End file.
